The romantics would call this a love story, the cynics would call it a tragedy.

*

I want to watch this. Students' concession is only $27. I can only think of chunying who will want to watch it, since it's a dance concert. I also want to watch Cullberg Ballet but the tickets are pretty expensive. D:

chunyingggggg do you want to watch Dancing On Your Grace. It's 22nd-24th May, whenever you are free.

Payday is near. Suddenly I changed my mind about highlighting hair.

*

I think, if we can all exist in the same world but in selected dimensions, we'll all be happier people. Like we get to choose who will be in your world. And anything others say of that person will simply be omitted from what you hear.

Yea, like the 90.5FM advertisement.

And that when we go out with a group of friends, your friend say he's going out with 9 people, your other friend may say he's going out with 6 people, and you may be going out with just 3 people, but actually you're all going out in a group of 15 people. It's like blocking contacts on MSN. Some people are left out, and they may not even know it.

I think, maybe, today's just one of those days I wish I'm left alone in a planet so I can talk to my pet rock. I'll show you a picture of my pet rock someday. His name is JROCK and his hobby is to stone.

Good night.

10:03:00 PM because I say so

Really? What's your friend's name?
Gosh.
What? What's wrong?
Nothing?
... What's your friend's name?
Gosh!
GOSH?
Gosh.

Weilong has the weirdest friends in the world, gosh.

10:16:00 PM because I say so

I can explain, you say, but silence is more fun.

2:11:00 PM because I say so

Sometimes I miss Anderson so much I get lost in my thoughts just thinking back.

And, it's something I can't relate to somebody who didn't graduate there clearly no matter how many stories I tell to how nitty the detail I recount. It's never the same.

Even now, listening to an old song I heard when I was 13/14 brings back the feelings then, Sec1 orientation, Larger Than Life, amazed at the library, we can actually eat ice creams here!

Pinafore days, Mdm Hee, thick like mushroom soup Maths file, ping piang ah, the science experiments, computer lessons (do you remember we learned photoshop?), Lim Yu Kee, ketchup dance, spiderman cheers, ART LESSONS IN THE ART ROOM, fanciful place -- there was a shelter leading to the Art Room last time, home econs lessons, Huabin passing around salt that he thought was sugar, salty salty pancakes, ghost stories during Home Econs lessons, running around, hiding Naomi's highlighters at high places, playing badminton using The Pearl (our lit text), and more.

And that's only lower sec days. Upper sec days were crazy, because the memories were nearer and so so hard to not reminisce. How excited we were about lockers in sec 1, found it a bother in sec 2, lived with it in sec 3, and gave it up in sec 4. THE CLASSROOM IS MY LOCKER YO. Crazy sec 4 days, I slept in 80% of Physics, and spent the other 20% doing anything but Physics. gillian and I sang songs (while Mr Yu was talking, I feel so bad now), played with plastic ducks, laughed till we cried, drew on each others' hands, had Weixin telling us that will shorten our lives. Turned round and wasted Literature with Hanhui, gossiping about our teachers (my form teacher and PE teacher married during our year), then shuddering at that thought, talked about the sun to the grass to the beetle to our boyfriends/girlfriends non-stop.

I think Mrs Yeo was trying to keep Hanhui quiet by putting him between me and Evelyn (was it Evelyn?), away from Aaron. I DON'T KNOW why I made friends with Tiny either. Maybe we were too bored, maybe we both hated the same teacher, maybe he's retarded, maybe I'm smart, maybe we're plain lucky.

I swear I wouldn't be talking to Hanhui at all if he wasn't so coincidentally there during the most unattentive lessons I underwent. Hence, I won't be talking to Aaron as well. I can't imagine what will it be like then. (cues Awwwww)

I'm sounding cheesy. But all I want to say is, I miss Anderson like hell. Secondary school days were the best times of my life. The worst you worry about is I don't know, I can't recall worrying about anything then. Maybe not getting the C in Standing Broad Jump so I can't get Gold for NAPFA?






I'm always in the first row because I'm short, or I'm the one asking everyone to take a photo. I wasn't some high profiler. Come to think of it, I think in Anderson, almost everybody is a high profiler. Everybody knew everybody. Which is another thing I like about that homely place.

I think I can compress my two years of joy and laughter in NJ into three months equivalent in Anderson times. That makes NJ sound depressing. It's not lah, it's just that Anderson is too happy.

Alright I can finally sleep in tomorrow. Saturdayyyyyyyyyy.

Has it been already a week since I wished about it being Saturday, Sunday, Saturday, Sunday, Saturday, Sunday... Why so fast. One day I'll wake up and realise I'm 50. Maybe that'll be tomorrow. AHHHHHHH.

Ogay, byebye.

10:40:00 PM because I say so

"
There just wasn't much you could do with heroes. They came with a set of traditional standards: square jaw, overdeveloped calves, perfect teeth. They stood half a foot taller than your average man. They were anatomical marvels, intricate displays of musculature. They sported ridiculous knee-high boots that no one without superhuman strength would be caught dead wearing.

On the other hand, your average bad guy might have a face shaped like an onion, an anvil, a pancake. His eyes could bulge out or recess in the folds of his skin. His physique might be meaty or cadaverous, furry or rubberized, or covered with lizard scales. He could speak in lightning, throw fire, swallow mountains. A villain lets your creativity out of its cage.

The problem was, you couldn't have one without the other. There couldn't be a bad guy unless there was a good guy to create the standard. And there couldn't be a good guy until a bad guy showed just how far off the path he might stray.

"
-Jodi Picoult

8:42:00 PM because I say so

Salamanca, Spain.

I want to take my wedding photos there.

I think I will cry when I really do get there one day. Spain has been my DC (Dream Country) since like 5, 6 years ago. It's really pretty, don't you think.

Singapore is so blend. I hate merlions. I hate HDBs. Alright I'm a hater. I hate everything, except Spain.

Good night.

10:39:00 PM because I say so

I've finally finished uni applications, pay tomorrow lor.

$20 can watch two movies you know.

Alright byebye.

10:17:00 PM because I say so

It's been a really long time since I last blogged about my day proper. Ohwell, I think results and uni applications kept bugging me so much everything that comes out typed revolves around them.

So, today!

Today I met up with gillian and chunying! The last time I met them we went to K and sang songs sung by birds' nest hair. That's beside the point. We were supposed to fulfill our super-long-time-ago-say-one squash date, but we didn't in the end. Alright we did some strenous exercises too playing wii.

Headed down to square 2 which was a really great deserted (I LIKE!) place for a Saturday. There are quite many shops, and places to eat there and I don't know why that place is so deserted. Anyway, we had lunch at Japanese Town (direct translate!) and laughed at the waiter who wore a mask on his chin. gillian says it's to catch his drool looking at the sushi. ANYWAY, the signboard says if the sushi you want is not on the belt, ask for it from our friendly chef but I think the chef doesn't look friendly at all.

That's beside the point again.

gillian got us jellybeans that says things like lips, I do etc HAHA, and all the flavours are sour. I LIKE JELLYBEANS XIE XIE NI YUNRU! We sang a IN TUNE birthday song to chunying whose birthday is in two days and I gave her her card which is made out of a block of wood and a kaleidoscope! Ohmytian I had to google the spelling for that. I don't know how to pronounce that word but she likes it so I'm happy!

We played wii at $6/hr + $5 lifetime membership and I LOVE THE RABBIDS. They are so cute. -bumps you off the top of building HAHA GILLIAN- We played the celebrities sports thing too and VOLLEYBALL AND BADMINTON ARE SO SPASTIC. But curlball is the worst. I think we wasted 15mins on curlball before finally deciding we don't want to continue scratching the floor. I suck at Cooking Mama, I couldn't even peel potatoes in time. D:

Oh we played rock band too and it was damn stressful although I was playing EASY. I can only sing, which is so ironic. Everyone on Neptune knows I can't sing.

Alright we played for two hours and guy who graudated from NTU computing tells us not to go NTU so I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I guess I'll just apply first. One step at a time yo.

Then we went home and I dropped by at Cold Storage to get stuff to make my bite-sized sandwiches for exciting picnic of 8people tomorrow! ANSON FOUND A PINIC MAT PRISCILLA! It's pink and white, checkered! That's so picnicky don't you think!

Alright my day sounded boring without pictures. I hardly took any because I was busy bumping gillian off the top of the building. :D

Ogay, I'm sleepy. Byebye.

7:02:00 PM because I say so

I feel horrid, and it's over the slightest matter over someone I, or anyone around me, even know. I didn't buy tissue from the sad uncle who was already kneeling down. I walked away because the uncle was pretty far and I was tired and I just want to get home and I'm selfish.

I don't know why it should affect me so much but I really feel horrible now. I hope I see him again soon so I can buy tissue from him.

My parents will be so not proud of me. :(

9:27:00 PM because I say so

I can't wait for uni either, but unlike 9 out of 10 friends, I think I prefer NTU to NUS although it's far, it's less happening (I think so too), and yadah yadah, I DON'T KNOW, it's like, CAN YOU EXPLAIN LOVE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay what's my problem, I don't know either.

As in, I don't know why I prefer NTU to NUS although what runs in my mind is something like this:

Comparision between NTU and NUS
1. NTU is as far as your father. (HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG I THINK I'M GETTING FUNNIER DAY BY DAY!) Whereas, NUS is only like, mother. Alright they're both far to me because what's not far is from my house to my house, or from my house to the ice cream man downstairs (and that's only because there's ice cream). I doubt I can stand traveling all that distance, so whether it's far or not won't be a thing to be since I'll want to stay in hostels.

That said, my parents are most unwilling to let me stay in hostels because 1. someone hang himself in NTU (I tried to tell them he wasn't really a student anymore, to which they said same same) and 2. a group of NUS boys ran around halls naked at wee hours of morning. Alright, I think the boys are extremely inconsiderate because after what they had done, 7000 more parents will disallow their kids to stay in hostels. Tsk.

In any case, if I've to decide on NTU or NUS solely based on distance alone, I'll choose NUS because it's only like, mother. Whereas NTU is as FAR as FAther.

2. NUS looks more fun. The students there look like they got more time to play, are more willing to play, and will insist that their hall is the best sports hall. It all sounds like things I do. I can imagine myself joining some club and insisting to everybody I see it's the Best Club in Neptune, except we aren't in Neptune, but that doesn't matter because if it's the Best in Neptune, it has to be the Best here, so join now! Before all the citizens of Neptune cuts your queue and take up all the spaces!

Yea, that really sounds like something I do.

Whereas on the other hand, NTU came across as a slow slow school with lots of trees and benches in quiet corners of the school where you will sit there the whole day listening to your favourite songs, surfing the net aimlessly on your laptop and watching time pass in the slowest speed.

Come to think of it, I'll like that too. I'm confused, do those people who insist their club is the Best in Neptune waste time away on quiet benches in quiet corners?

Anyway, if I've to decide between NUS and NTU based on culture alone, I'll choose NUS as well because it definitely appears more vibrant, lively etc.

3. Courses wise, I guess FASS will really suit me. So I'll opt for NUS over NTU as well.

Put #1, #2 and #3 considerations together, I've a landslide win, NUS 3, NTU 0. Hence NTU wins, and I don't know why.

I want to be in NTU Econs even though I want to be in FASS. And I just said something that doesn't make sense at all, not even to Neptune.

By the way, how do I apply for NTU ah.

8:37:00 PM because I say so

I guess we all come to some point in life when we feel like whatever decision we make may be a wrong one. Well, some people are very sure of what they want --- they did well, they know they want to go into medicine, they get into medicine, they are happy, they do well, the end.

There's those who did well, and are undecided over which path to take because they do not want to ruin this good opportunity they have at hand because of their exceptional results.

There's those who are suddenly left stranded because they didn't do well enough to get into their dream courses. They've been reading about, thinking about, dreaming of, breathing that dream courses, which can't materialise because of the cold harsh truth that starts with R and ends with esults.

Then there are those who had no idea from the start to the end. We all don't know where we're headed, we don't know what we want, we don't know what we'll really like, we don't know how is it we can don't regret, we don't know where to go, we can't see what we want to be 10years down the road, nothing interests me, everything seems fine and not fine to me. That's me.

Having said that, I officially eliminated engineering from my choices because I have to admit

1. I really don't like Physics.
2. I'm almost 101% certain it's a place where I WILL NOT excel in.
3. The only reason why I'm considering it is engineering sounds good and an engineer sounds cool.
4. I will hate my life there.
5. I am quite certain I'll regret if I get in there.
6. It looks like a really sorry place to me.

So, I'm left with

HUMANITIES
1. Economics.
Which seems like where I'm headed. I'll apply for NTU economics and FASS. If I get into both, I'll fret later about where to end up in.
2. History.
JOKE.
3. Geography
Minoring in urban geography sounds good.
4. Literature
If I don't get into NTU economics, and I end up in FASS, and I can't bid for the module I want in Econs/Psychology/Political and social sciences, when all fails, I'll take Literature.

Social sciences
1. Psychology.
I'm kinda interested in that too, just like 21027510975080 other people. I want to do it, but I hate having to fight for a place through their called bidding system. So I guess Psychology will be a 2nd choice for NTU application. I don't know, will see how it goes.
2. Sociology
I. Don't. Mind. This. Either.
3. Political Science.
I. Don't. Mind. This. Either.

OR.

Mathematical Sciences -- because I'm really impressed with the bubble/surface thing the angmoh professor showed me at NTU openhouse.

*

You see where my interests lie. It seems like I should head FASS so I can take up Psychology/Econs/Sociology in a japalang manner and see where I end up eventually. We usually do better in things we like, no? It works that way for me, I guess.

I guess, for now, we'll just apply, and when we get accepted, we'll fret again.

My choices,

NTU:
1. NTU Business (to waste space since we are given 5 choices)
2. Economics.
3. Psychology.
4. Mathematical Sciences.
5. Mass Communications

NUS:
1. NUS Law (we're given 10 choices!)
2. NUS Business.
3. FASS.
4. Mathematical Sciences.
5. Communication Studies.
6. Stats.
7. Computing.
8. Bioengineering (HAHA).
9. Mechanical Engineering.
10. Physics and Applied Physics.

Ohwell. It's a Sunday and I forgot to buy the ingredients to make my oreo cheesecake. D:

Byebye.

5:23:00 PM because I say so

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
i'm considering too many things.
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
._.

Priscilla Pasta says:
lol
Priscilla Pasta says:
go for what you like lah
Priscilla Pasta says:
i think if you do something you like, you'll do better

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
i cant be sure of what i like
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
haha

Priscilla Pasta says:
LOL
Priscilla Pasta says:
okayyyy
Priscilla Pasta says:
close your eyes and think of what you see yourself as

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
okay let me try

Priscilla Pasta says:
DON'T SAY ASTRONAUT

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
alright i cant see anything
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
i almost dozed off, that's all.

Priscilla Pasta says:
TRY HARDER
Priscilla Pasta says:
think 4 years later

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
image: stuck in uni with a laptop drinking bubble tea
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
ohmytian!
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
does that mean i'll do phd or something!
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
ooooo good sign!

Priscilla Pasta says:
YEAH!
Priscilla Pasta says:
(:

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
._.
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
alright i'll think 8 years

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
HAHAHAHA
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
i see myself in a posh black merz with a rich husband and a bouquet of flowers

meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
alright i'm very fei4.
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
i'll kill myself now.
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
goodbye world
meigui, Content is a difficult word says:
please burn me my jay's cds and some twisties

I'm a lost cause. If you're my friend you'll give me a grand sendoff with alot of Ricola Peach sweets and Cheezels and nachos and Subway tuna sandwiches. Ho and some paper and pencils so I can write and draw and maybe mail a letter to you. So someday when walking along the street and a piece of paper floats down from above and you catch it and you see it signed M with Twisties and Sandwiches it may be from me.

._.

Alright JOKING. I'm not sucidal lah.



I think I've reached the I'm-no-longer-sad, but I-feel-guilty-being-happy stage.

Good night!

10:06:00 PM because I say so

Tentative uni choices. No, VERY tentative uni choices. Ohmytian, mechanical engineering? WHO AM I KIDDING. Click to enlarge.



And lo and behold, annex A!



*

It's impossible to get over results, so you might as well stop saying things like it'll be fine, we'll do fine, it'll all be okay in the end, you just need to get somewhere to uni...

Say that to anyone who hasn't done well and they'll say the same old thing to you, well you scored well so you don't know how it feels. But what we're actually feeling is aptly, just go away because I'm jealous of your results, can't you see I enjoy seeking solace from fellow people who hasn't done well because we can all whine together and it's nice knowing you're not the only person who screwed up.

No Sokmui I'm not insinuating you, although I do get annoyed when you fret over which uni course you should apply to with your straight As, while I fret over the dwindling number of courses I'm eligible for. Which probably explains why people who don't do as well (us) don't really want to go out with people who did well (you) because we'll be fretting over different things and we'll get petty over different matters.

But, I think it's not so bad going out with you because you do try to listen to us whine and offer realistic suggestions about where we can go to appear less screwed.

Ohwell.

I want to dye my hair like bright orange or something.

9:07:00 PM because I say so

What's different between hope and faith is that you are clear and aware when you simply hope (for the better or best), but faith may be merely blind creed in something you will yourself to believe in, often because you can't afford not to.

Hence I think people with faith are happier than people with hope, but people with wishes are the happiest because they are the most stupid of all three categories.

*

I draft-saved my last depressing entries about results.

I came to a sudden and horrifying realisation today when I found out what I'm largely limited by choices in university. I'm left stranded with things I won't like to do, like engineering, which is highly probable what I'll end up doing. I daren't take up FASS because it seems like I won't get what I want (what do I want?) in any case because your first bidding of modules is based entirely on your A's.

Alternatively, I can try something to do with Mathematics, like Statistics, andmyholybandanas, what did I just say.

To my utmost horror, I realised I am actually hoping to get into NTU Econs because it seems like the next best thing I won't dread. To my ultimate utmost horror, I realised I just said that.

What's scarier than My Bloody Valentine's (great show with great effects, by the way) is that holy Physics and Applied Physics is one of my listed choices. If it's now 1st April I may as well look into Priscilla's Poke ball and say April's Fool!

I don't know, I'm not brave enough to settle my mind on anything.

I may end up taking Econs, becoming a Econs teacher, and making Econs kids fail Econs (gasps!). Ohmytian, what am I thinking. I don't want to become a teacher because

1. Teachers only marry teachers (Soonkiat said this but it makes alot of sense)
2. I don't want to marry teachers
3. Teachers aren't rich

Alright, I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. D:

Byebye.

PS: Hanhui, I don't know why I said I know when you said I've no reason to be upset about my results. Why shouldn't I be? D is Depressing, ya know that don't ya. See you in 15 hours time.

11:37:00 PM because I say so

It's funny how you want some people here and now and you want some people out and forgotten; you want some wishes come true and you want some dreams fulfilled, whereas others don't matter, they can stay, they can go.

It's funnier how sometimes the same people you want holding your hand and telling you everything will be fine are the same people you want never to appear in your life. And how the same wishes you pray for to happen every other night are the same things you claim doesn't really matter.

I want to live in yellow-tinted photographs, I think everything looks pretty inside yellow-tinted photographs. That yellow-tinted photograph I live in must be really huge so I can walk about and not feel bored. I don't want to be stuck to a single frame with maybe a garden bench and five stupid pigeons. Or a rooftop cafe with half a cup of coffee.

I don't know what ridiculous I'm saying. You see, even the last sentence isn't a proper. WHAT AM I SAYING.

1:00:00 AM because I say so

OMG so cute!

I'll buy myself a Mr Toast someday! :D Love The Shrunks too! Pillowman ahahahaha!

I always thought I grew out of soft toys but the other day I helped my colleague buy two huge Mickey Mice (plural) from Kiddy Palace and boy I really felt like buying another one for myself. It was so soft and nice and huge to hug. :D Plus, it was a promo item selling at $19.90 each which is really cheap for such a huge Mickey. But there were only TWO left in Woodlands Kiddy Palace and the reason why I'm helping her get them is because Plaza Sing Kiddy Palace had only one left and that one had a broken nose. ._. Alright so the point of the story is I didn't get one for myself in the end because there were only two left and my colleague wanted two for her two neices and I don't really like Mickey in the first place anyway.

Alright, I just said so much over something that doesn't really concern you, or me, for that matter. That wasted 2 mins of my time and probably another 2 mins of yours. Hurrah to wasted time, HURRAH!

I'm sleeping so late everyday. Ogay byebye.

9:54:00 PM because I say so

No no no no no no------- I can't hear you~ I'll cover my ears and eyes and I WILL LIVE IN A WORLD FILLED WITH ONLY MY SINGING (OH MY GOD, which is worse?) AND NEVER HAVE TO KNOW MY RESULTS, EVER!

Alright, I guess we all have to face it regardless. But you know, I'm really so afraid my heartrate reached a whooping 98beats/min when I measured it using the electronic thing that my sister bought for my father because he has high blood pressure and anyway, I used it and it's not faulty but my heartrate is really that high and OHMYTIAN, I'm babbling AGAIN.

Sokmui, you'll never understand how people like Priscilla and I feel. It's like, I've never passed Chem in the two years in NJ, and it'll be my first pass for A's, and you can't expect a good score for a first pass. But you expect it anyway, because you're you, who came in with a very decent O'level score. And you can't afford to falter, because you're you, who came in with a very decent O'level score. And yet that's exactly what you've been doing for the two years, faltering at EVERY single test/exam, for a certain holy subject.

It's no longer about confidence or no confidence. There's zero confidence to start with, and what I feel about my results is almost as good as trying to guess is it DA or XIAO when you toss three dice. Or TOTO. Or 4D. You get my point.

So, Sokmui you won't understand because your grades in the two years range from D to A wheras ours range from U to U. Which is something you can't really call a range. So it's highly understandable we're worried. Won't you be if all you ever got was U?

Ohmytian, I doubt I can sleep tonight, AGAIN. D:

10:04:00 PM because I say so