We're at this stage in life where we reminisce too much of our near past, worry too much about our near future, are
too clueless about everything that can, will, may happen to us, think we know alot, think we don't know anything,
am confident about the wrong things, take pride in wasting time away, want too much but want to do too little.
Ohwell.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Uncles and Durians
I realise I really like blogging in mega ultra omelety long sentences like this one here, not really out to annoy you but out of habit really... or maybe not, ohyea, I guess I really enjoy annoying people that much I'm doing so subconsciously all the time, just like when I'm blogging, I tend to blog in extremely long sentences with about sixteen thousand commas that never seem to end no matter how hard you wish it will just stop.
See, one sentence one paragraph.
Anyway, that's not the point. My point is (guess what!) there's no point, yet again.
Okay lah no, there's a point.
Today I will teach you all The Importance of Being Friendly to People.
Coming from me, this will definitely prove to be very educational because I've just received The Friendliest Person award from my best friend Sandy, and her opinion really counts, even though she's imaginary.
What, don't look small imaginary people okay. Staying friendly rule #1: Respect imaginary people. Yea.
Staying friendly rule #2: Swear when you're supposed to. No, I'm not encouraging you to swear. We all know swearing is bad, being vulgar is rude yada yada. Unless you're Sokmui of course. Sokmui is entitled to swear as and when she likes and YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO STOP HER unless you're 15 and are going to be sent to a girls' home and you want to end your life.
Anyway, my point is (there's a point this time!), when you are walking a perfectly straight route from a busy MRT station to some escalator, and an uncle carrying a red plastic bag of durians WALKS INTO YOU, I repeat, WALKS INTO YOU, pricks you with the evil durians, DOES NOT APOLOGISE, but instead UTTER A LOUD LOUD TSK as if I was the crazy kungfu panda who blocked his way when he was the one who WALKED INTO ME when he was the one who WALKED INTO ME, there's a perfect reason to swear.
So, fuck. Or since it's only one day after Children's Day, let's be less vulgar and swear cutely. Okay no, I can't do it. Fuck.
I would have chased after him and made him apologise if not because he hastily tapped his EZlink and scampered off to take some goddamn MRT that will come a freaking 7minutes later.
Eh, uncle. You walk so fast, 7 seconds can reach already. Why, you need the other 6 minutes and 53 seconds to eat your durians at the MRT station is it.
That brings me to my next point.
Staying friendly rule #3: Do not eat durians at the MRT station.
Now you must be thinking I'm exaggerating. I AM NOT. The other day I was on the platform with Song Minghan and this uncle (a different uncle though) threw a durian seed wrapped in clear plastic under a bench.
I swear he didn't just dropped it and because his bones are oh-so-brittle, he can't bend down to pick it up.
NO. We saw him THROW it under the bench, like WHEW, with pretty huge mighty force.
So the two of us sat opposite him, and wondered what we should do. If we go up to him, he might throw us off the platform with the same huge mighty force like WHEW. But I can't just let it go like that.
So I tried to stare at him fierce enough so he'll bend his oh-so-brittle bones to pick his litter up. But no, he decided to to not look our way because he caught our eye when he threw the seed under the bench.
I couldn't take it, so I walked up to him.
I admit I was afraid of confronting him because
1. he didn't prick me with durians
2. that's not my floor he's littering
3. I'm less than half his age
4. he might throw me off the platform.
But in any case, the first step was the most difficult. After I stood up, it was easier because I can't just sit back down. I can only continue walking up to him. Which I did.
Because of the above reasons, I didn't scold him for littering. Instead, I picked up that durian seed wrapped in clear plastic and passed it to him, saying uncle, you dropped something.
After which, he smiled broadly and took that durian seed from me. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or happy or crazy because he just kept smiling at me, and thanking me, as if I was the one who planted a durian tree and gave him a durian for free.
I suppose he's friendly enough... but he still shouldn't throw a durian seed under the bench. Can you imagine, if he goes off thinking that throwing durian seeds under MRT benches is okay, and then he teaches his grandchildren,
"Ah boy arh. After you eat this durian, MUST wrap it in clear plastic already then can throw under MRT bench hor..."
And then his grandchild will grow up having this mentality and soon durian trees will be growing out of our MRT benches.
NO. That's not a good thing because some other uncle will pluck some durians, keep them in a red plastic bag, and go round pricking people, and then utter a loud loud TSK at them as if he wasn't the one at fault.
Stupid uncles and durians.
5:27:00 PM because I say so
See, one sentence one paragraph.
Anyway, that's not the point. My point is (guess what!) there's no point, yet again.
Okay lah no, there's a point.
Today I will teach you all The Importance of Being Friendly to People.
Coming from me, this will definitely prove to be very educational because I've just received The Friendliest Person award from my best friend Sandy, and her opinion really counts, even though she's imaginary.
What, don't look small imaginary people okay. Staying friendly rule #1: Respect imaginary people. Yea.
Staying friendly rule #2: Swear when you're supposed to. No, I'm not encouraging you to swear. We all know swearing is bad, being vulgar is rude yada yada. Unless you're Sokmui of course. Sokmui is entitled to swear as and when she likes and YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO STOP HER unless you're 15 and are going to be sent to a girls' home and you want to end your life.
Anyway, my point is (there's a point this time!), when you are walking a perfectly straight route from a busy MRT station to some escalator, and an uncle carrying a red plastic bag of durians WALKS INTO YOU, I repeat, WALKS INTO YOU, pricks you with the evil durians, DOES NOT APOLOGISE, but instead UTTER A LOUD LOUD TSK as if I was the crazy kungfu panda who blocked his way when he was the one who WALKED INTO ME when he was the one who WALKED INTO ME, there's a perfect reason to swear.
So, fuck. Or since it's only one day after Children's Day, let's be less vulgar and swear cutely. Okay no, I can't do it. Fuck.
I would have chased after him and made him apologise if not because he hastily tapped his EZlink and scampered off to take some goddamn MRT that will come a freaking 7minutes later.
Eh, uncle. You walk so fast, 7 seconds can reach already. Why, you need the other 6 minutes and 53 seconds to eat your durians at the MRT station is it.
That brings me to my next point.
Staying friendly rule #3: Do not eat durians at the MRT station.
Now you must be thinking I'm exaggerating. I AM NOT. The other day I was on the platform with Song Minghan and this uncle (a different uncle though) threw a durian seed wrapped in clear plastic under a bench.
I swear he didn't just dropped it and because his bones are oh-so-brittle, he can't bend down to pick it up.
NO. We saw him THROW it under the bench, like WHEW, with pretty huge mighty force.
So the two of us sat opposite him, and wondered what we should do. If we go up to him, he might throw us off the platform with the same huge mighty force like WHEW. But I can't just let it go like that.
So I tried to stare at him fierce enough so he'll bend his oh-so-brittle bones to pick his litter up. But no, he decided to to not look our way because he caught our eye when he threw the seed under the bench.
I couldn't take it, so I walked up to him.
I admit I was afraid of confronting him because
1. he didn't prick me with durians
2. that's not my floor he's littering
3. I'm less than half his age
4. he might throw me off the platform.
But in any case, the first step was the most difficult. After I stood up, it was easier because I can't just sit back down. I can only continue walking up to him. Which I did.
Because of the above reasons, I didn't scold him for littering. Instead, I picked up that durian seed wrapped in clear plastic and passed it to him, saying uncle, you dropped something.
After which, he smiled broadly and took that durian seed from me. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or happy or crazy because he just kept smiling at me, and thanking me, as if I was the one who planted a durian tree and gave him a durian for free.
I suppose he's friendly enough... but he still shouldn't throw a durian seed under the bench. Can you imagine, if he goes off thinking that throwing durian seeds under MRT benches is okay, and then he teaches his grandchildren,
"Ah boy arh. After you eat this durian, MUST wrap it in clear plastic already then can throw under MRT bench hor..."
And then his grandchild will grow up having this mentality and soon durian trees will be growing out of our MRT benches.
NO. That's not a good thing because some other uncle will pluck some durians, keep them in a red plastic bag, and go round pricking people, and then utter a loud loud TSK at them as if he wasn't the one at fault.
Stupid uncles and durians.
5:27:00 PM because I say so