We're at this stage in life where we reminisce too much of our near past, worry too much about our near future, are
too clueless about everything that can, will, may happen to us, think we know alot, think we don't know anything,
am confident about the wrong things, take pride in wasting time away, want too much but want to do too little.
Ohwell.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Oaiyrafa day
Sometimes, like today, I can't feel myself. Like you aren't conscious of what you're doing exactly. Felt like I'm on the Auto mode, and I'm moving around like I should be, but the brain isn't thinking anything in particular. But then again it doesn't feel that way.
It feels more like I'm still lying in bed and everything that's happening is in my mind. Like I hallucinated my day. Do you ever get that kind of feeling?
Maybe I took too much cough syrup. Did I, really?
Some days, like today, it feels like I'm part of a dream. Or that if I concentrate hard enough, I can detach from my body and look back at me from another corner. And then I'll see I'm part of an animated painting, or that I'm watching somebody that looks like me. It feels really weird. When 5 hours after you did something, you suddenly wonder why you did that. Or just 5 minutes after you did something, you can't remember what was it. Or 5 seconds after you said something, you forget what you're going to continue saying.
And it's not that I hasn't slept enough. I had 13 hours of sleep the day before, which is 2 hours more than usual.
It's that kind of feeling you get on the third day of a 3 days 2 nights chalet, the feeling like you're going to drop and hibernate one full day before you can talk again.
Even now, I don't feel myself. I can't remember what I just seen or heard. Or maybe I can. But I don't know which really happened and which didn't. Or maybe everything happened, but it doesn't feel like it did. You understand what I'm saying?
Maybe I slept too much.
No school tomorrow. Or maybe there is. Maybe today never happened and tomorrow's Wednesday again. Maybe I'm still asleep. Or maybe it's only Monday and I dreamed I lived Tuesday and Wednesday already. Maybe I just came home from BBQ at Aaron's house. Maybe I just sang Happy Birthday to gillian.
Maybe we aren't alive. Maybe you died in your sleep last night and what's happening now is in your after-life. Maybe back at your previous life 3000 people are grieving over your death. Maybe we died and we don't even know. Maybe no one actually dies. Maybe the person that just died in our terms just went on living in another place, unaware that he just died.
Maybe we're under the control of someone. Maybe we're part of a video game. Maybe we're SIMS 74. Maybe someone decides what time we sleep everyday. Maybe someone decides what we think even. Maybe we're RPG. Maybe we're RPG that plays RPG. Maybe we're in someone's mind. Maybe someone is thinking of his ideal world. But we can't really call our world ideal. Then maybe someone is thinking of the possible problems his ideal world faces. And we're there to make that thought complete.
Maybe we're in the dreams of a person in coma. And when the person wakes, all of us will just disappear. Maybe we don't actually feel anything. Maybe we think we feel something but actually we don't. Maybe we really don't exist.
On a more normal note, sometimes I don't really know what is it that I really want. Not exactly out of life. But alot of other oaiyrafa things. Sometimes even after I set my oaiyrafa mind on something, I only realise I strayed from that determination some oaiyrafa hours after. And sometimes I really don't oaiyrafa know how to oaiyrafa describe my oaiyrafa feelings. Sometimes I don't even oaiyrafa know what I'm thinking.
And yah, there's no such word as oaiyrafa. I always use it when my mind's not around.
Sometimes I think I just need 15 minutes to close my eyes and meditate to attain transcendence. So that I don't feel so oaiyrafa. But some oaiyrafa person that sat behind me during some oaiyrafa boring talk just can't stop oaiyrafa talking.
Kay, I should just sleep.
Bye bye.
9:41:00 PM because I say so
It feels more like I'm still lying in bed and everything that's happening is in my mind. Like I hallucinated my day. Do you ever get that kind of feeling?
Maybe I took too much cough syrup. Did I, really?
Some days, like today, it feels like I'm part of a dream. Or that if I concentrate hard enough, I can detach from my body and look back at me from another corner. And then I'll see I'm part of an animated painting, or that I'm watching somebody that looks like me. It feels really weird. When 5 hours after you did something, you suddenly wonder why you did that. Or just 5 minutes after you did something, you can't remember what was it. Or 5 seconds after you said something, you forget what you're going to continue saying.
And it's not that I hasn't slept enough. I had 13 hours of sleep the day before, which is 2 hours more than usual.
It's that kind of feeling you get on the third day of a 3 days 2 nights chalet, the feeling like you're going to drop and hibernate one full day before you can talk again.
Even now, I don't feel myself. I can't remember what I just seen or heard. Or maybe I can. But I don't know which really happened and which didn't. Or maybe everything happened, but it doesn't feel like it did. You understand what I'm saying?
Maybe I slept too much.
No school tomorrow. Or maybe there is. Maybe today never happened and tomorrow's Wednesday again. Maybe I'm still asleep. Or maybe it's only Monday and I dreamed I lived Tuesday and Wednesday already. Maybe I just came home from BBQ at Aaron's house. Maybe I just sang Happy Birthday to gillian.
Maybe we aren't alive. Maybe you died in your sleep last night and what's happening now is in your after-life. Maybe back at your previous life 3000 people are grieving over your death. Maybe we died and we don't even know. Maybe no one actually dies. Maybe the person that just died in our terms just went on living in another place, unaware that he just died.
Maybe we're under the control of someone. Maybe we're part of a video game. Maybe we're SIMS 74. Maybe someone decides what time we sleep everyday. Maybe someone decides what we think even. Maybe we're RPG. Maybe we're RPG that plays RPG. Maybe we're in someone's mind. Maybe someone is thinking of his ideal world. But we can't really call our world ideal. Then maybe someone is thinking of the possible problems his ideal world faces. And we're there to make that thought complete.
Maybe we're in the dreams of a person in coma. And when the person wakes, all of us will just disappear. Maybe we don't actually feel anything. Maybe we think we feel something but actually we don't. Maybe we really don't exist.
On a more normal note, sometimes I don't really know what is it that I really want. Not exactly out of life. But alot of other oaiyrafa things. Sometimes even after I set my oaiyrafa mind on something, I only realise I strayed from that determination some oaiyrafa hours after. And sometimes I really don't oaiyrafa know how to oaiyrafa describe my oaiyrafa feelings. Sometimes I don't even oaiyrafa know what I'm thinking.
And yah, there's no such word as oaiyrafa. I always use it when my mind's not around.
Sometimes I think I just need 15 minutes to close my eyes and meditate to attain transcendence. So that I don't feel so oaiyrafa. But some oaiyrafa person that sat behind me during some oaiyrafa boring talk just can't stop oaiyrafa talking.
Kay, I should just sleep.
Bye bye.
9:41:00 PM because I say so